• Mai Duc Nguyen

A Sample Candidate-Written Task 1 Essay and Corrected Version


Student's work:

The line graph gives the amount of chicken, beef, lamb and fish was consumed in a European nation from 1979 to 2004.

Overall, the graph shows that the consumption of chicken grew dramatically, while the other kinds of food declined throughout the period.

In 1979, beef was the most selling food in all these food with the consumption for each person around 225 grams. Besides, lamb and chicken were consumed less than beef approximately 150 grams per week, while the amount of fish was consumed the least just over 50 grams. However, during this 25-year period, the consumption of beef and lamb plummeted sharply of 120 grams and 55 grams respectively. The consumption of fish also fell just below 50 grams and their consumption still was the lowest level in comparison with other kinds of food.

Although the consumption of chicken was not as much as beef 1979 but in over the next few years, they increased steadily and overtook the consumption of lamb. 2004s, the consumption of chicken rocketed enormously to 250 grams per person per week.

Corrected version: (With grammatical, lexical and sentence structure changes in bold)

The line graph gives information about the amount of chicken, beef, lamb and fish which was consumed in an European country from 1979 to 2004.

Overall, the graph shows that the consumption of chicken grew dramatically, while that of other kinds of meat declined throughout the period.

In 1979, beef was the best-selling type of meat with the weekly consumption of about 230 grams per person. Lamb and chicken were consumed less with the average consumption of around 150 grams, while fish was consumed the least with below 50 grams. Furthermore, over this 25-year period, the consumption of beef and lamb plummeted sharply to 120 grams and 55 grams, respectively. The consumption of fish also fell to just below 50 grams per week and it was still the lowest figure, in comparison to other consumption figures.

Although the consumption of chicken was not as much as that of beef in 1979, over the next few decades, it increased steadily to over 250 grams per person per week in 2004 when it surpassed the consumption of three other types of meat.

Further suggestions for change:

1. Use more sentence structures.

2. State the unit (grams per person per week) more often and correctly.

3. Make sure to include statistics correctly.

If you were to write an essay describing the line graph above, how would your essay look like? Please share it by leaving a comment.

#writingtask1 #linegraphs

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